Wow. Me. A dad. To anyone. That is a pretty disturbing thought. Then again, at the moment it seemed to make perfect sense. So I can be impulsive at times. Sue me. Furthermore, it’s all for the better. There’s lots of opportunities to be had in this one. But I’m getting ahead of myself once more.

There was this guy, the perfect image of dear Eric, who went around in the domain, feeding on people. Without proper permission. Turns out: Without proper upbringing as well. Nobody trained him, nobody told him what he is or how many of us there are. Neither was he informed about our social network. The kid – Marius that is – was utterly unaware of just about everything. So the prince gave us a choice. Kill him – or have someone take him under his or her wing and start with a clean slate. Since I am against killing people for the mere fact of being uneducated idiots I voted to let the guy live. Which in turn meant that I had to offer taking care of him. Anything else would have made me a hypocrite. Obviously Brückner saw the humor in that and named Marius my child. So now I’m stuck with him.

Good parts of this? Well, on one hand I did what was right. After all I, while having had to stop various masquerade breaching news articles from appearing in the news, had the most trouble with him. Seemed only right that I should decide what would happen with him. Then – killing people is just a bad idea. Only takes you one step closer to the beast. Bad move. Very bad move. In addition I now have the perfect Baumgartner double in my possession. Plus, Marius may have one or the other ability rooted in his blood that he can teach me, out of gratitude for letting him live. Almost everyone in the domain wanted him to live – so now I can call in favors, without having to worry to pay those specific ones back. After all they should be partially responsible as well. Further, it is a great experiment to watch whether or not a group of murderous beasts can provide for one of their own for one single reason: compassion. Great social experiment! Plus I get to find out whether or not I myself am amble to teach anyone enough to allow him a socially acceptable life in this particular company. Now all that needs to be done is to avoid for me to die, which should be quite possible.

On a different note, Shiraz has agreed to enter a game with me. My terms. It’s basically about who can outwit whom without trying to gain any benefit from it. Like fencing, just using words and ideas instead. A friendly thing, more or less. For some reason he has taken a liking to me, offering help with Marius as well, though it is against his basic beliefs. Also, I will try and find out about Raphaels true nature. He who heals seems to be rather unhealed himself. I shall change this.

Instead of meeting the prince I eventually decided to write to her. The letter was received less friendly than I had hoped. But by no means hostile. She doesn’t seem to realize the type of misery she is in. So I will have to keep trying. She’s not getting off the hook this easily. The fact remains that I am worried about her.

For his part, Alessandro was not too pleased about me taking Marius in. But I guess it could have been worse. He said he’d support this as best as he could. On the other hand he was honest enough to admit that, should things go south, he’d deny any support in this matter. Guess he has to take care of his own things every now and then. Won’t hold that against him as long as he’s honest. Still, I have a strange feeling about this. There is a hint of Janus in this somewhere. As long as I haven’t seen the other side there’s no telling of what the man is capable of.

And then there is Jason. Again. If ever I have seen a three-edged sword, that would be him. He’s clever, but in a way that nobody around him seems to notice. Wouldn’t be my cup of tea. I couldn’t bear it. Still, somehow he manages to. He offered his help as well, even though he remains cautious. It’s good to know that there’s someone watching out for you, even in this den of wolves. He talks a lot. Of course he does. Sometimes I’m not sure whether what he tells me is what he thinks or what he thinks I want to hear most. He desires to please others, mostly just to be on their friendly side and make use of them at some point or another. Being like that probably is so much of a habbit that he does it near instinctively by now. Whatever the case though, I still feel I can trust him. If not for what he says, then for what he did. He may not always mean everything he says or change his mind as fast as I can say “what the fuck” – but that doesn’t change his character. I wonder what this would have been like, were we alive… Still. He is kin. He is my brother.

Damn all this. Dad would have had a blast over this. His son, dodgy Nathaniel who would do anything as not to have to take on responsibility for anything. The guy who refuses to mention his own title, even though it might improve his social standing with some people. The guy who regularily dumbs himself down, just to be an ordinary kid like everybody else while still being utterly aware that he will never be part of the crowd. That same guy risking his life to protect someone he doesn’t even know. Traveling around the world? Extreme sports? Drugs? Calculable. Yet to protect a stranger with your own life… Doesn’t quite seem like me, does it.

Yeah, I know.

“I told him about you. Everything there is to know.” Sie saß auf seinem Schoß, lächelte ihn an und strich ihm zart über die Wange. Ihr Lächeln war sanft, warm. Anders als ihre Finger auf seiner Haut, egal wie sehr sie sich mühte.
“You can’t know that.” Trotz der kalten Finger lächelte er nachsichtig zurück. Sie konnte es nicht wissen. Woher auch. Dafür brauchte es mehrere Teams Psychologen. Mindestens. Jedenfalls seiner Einschätzung nach.
Doch auch ihr Lächeln wurde nachsichtig. Wieder musste sie etwas wissen, das ihm gänzlich verholen blieb. “I told him that you are very smart.”
“Gifted.”
“… Gifted then.” Sie kicherte gläsern. “That there would be a simple choice that he would have to make: Either to get rid of you. Or to introduce you to this particular society.” Keines ihrer Worte schien ihn bisher zu überraschen. Auch wenn diesmal er es war, der nicht ihre volle Bedeutung abschätzen konnte. “I have told him your name. And why you refuse to use it.”
Seine Augenbrauen zogen sich skeptisch zusammen. Das einzelne Auge nahm sie mit Blicken außeinander, suchte nach Zeichen in ihrem Gesicht, ihrem Blick. Irgendetwas das er deuten konnte. “You can’t-”
“But I can, Nathaniel. I know that you have been running a very long time, trying to avoid having to fulfill another man’s expectations.” Unter ihr versteifte sich unwillkürlich sein ganzer Körper. Die bis eben noch vertrauliche Situation voller Zuneigung gefror mit wenigen seiner Herzschläge. “It is time for you to stop.”
“I can’t.” Wichtigere Dinge waren in seinem Kopf. Zum Beispiel die Frage, woher sie das wusste. Er hatte nie mit jemandem darüber gesprochen. Außer Dee. Und Dee? Dee würde nicht reden. Niemals. Das hatten sie sich schon sehr lange versprochen und geschworen. Er würde auch nicht reden. Nie.
Sie beugte sich vor, lehnte ihren Kopf mit der Stirn gegen seine. “You will. Starting tonight.”, flüsterte sie gegen seine Lippen.