If only I could write about half of the things I’ve learned last night. But I have to be patient. Just a little while. Yet never has it been harder.

The person I had to talk to right at the beginning was Phelan. The man is utterly unlikely to ever answer his fucking mail! So I told him that it’s all nice and shiny that his clan does patrols. Only that it would also be good if he actually told us about that, so we fucking know what he’s up to – and more importantly what he’s NOT up to, just so we can make sure that the things one party neglects can be taken care of by another. Then again, he’s Gangrel. Sometimes you have to explain the easy things to them. Harkon is no different, if sometimes more witty. For some reason Phelan bears some sort of respect for me. He steps out of my way when I walk by. Either that’s respect or he’s the only person in the whole domain – other than the prince herself – to consider a one eyed man’s needs.

First surprise of the evening: The moment I enter a room to sort things out with Thomas, whom I had thought to be mad at me for having a part in Wartenburg’s disappearance, I get a phone call from none other but Simon Karsten himself, humbly requesting my advice.

Thomas first though. Yes, he has a thing for the woman. Lord knows why. Where Jason obviously knows where usefulness ends Thomas doesn’t seem to have grasped the idea just yet. However, he does agree that it’s better for us to have a favor with the Brujah than people like Simon. So it’s peachy, basically. His recovery from dreamland makes good progress. But there’s no way of knowing how much of that is just him trying to ignore what happened. The only way to find out is to give him more time though. Patience yet again. I do hate that. It’s good to see that the Three are standing strong together, no matter what. I admit I am very pleased with all of us in that respect.

So. Karsten. He told me that someone broke into his home and that one of his ghouls managed to get a hold of that person. He was all confused about what to do with her, so I told him to bring her to the domain meeting – just a small room on the side though. Which he did. We had a short interrogation session of the milder kind with her during which she babbled various degree of perfect nonsense. What struck me though was that my personal art failed on her while Karstens dominations worked just fine. Seriously! With what happened to Coraline I’m going to have to start thinking of myself as an impotent bastard. What the fuck! Anyway. Karsten’s report isn’t in yet, so I’m not going to keep flapping my gums about what she might or might not have said. Upside of the whole thing: Karsten still though the woman trusted me. Ah, well. He was still so very undecided! Asked me what to do with her. So I made two suggestions and told him that this would be his call. His prisoner, his rules after all. And what’s the best he can come up with? “I have to talk to the prince about this!” … Dude. This is why you got fired in the first place. You can’t make ONE call on your own.

While all of that went down Bruni arrived on scene. Which came as a shock. The man never seems to announce his presence! So you enter a room, all unknowing, and BOOM! There he is. Judging from where I stand now he must have been very pleased with how I behaved. I’m sure he could have stopped various things, had he wanted to. But he didn’t. Yay, team Nate! Bruni likes you. He also called for a clan meeting, once more sharing his ideas on how to get a few lucrative favors and some such. Also he enjoyed the memory I shared with him quite a lot. Curious to see what he’ll behave like next time the two of us meet.

During that little gathering of ours what happened to Wartenburg was mentioned as well. Which was exactly when Alena got pissed for me not telling her. Well, believe it or not, I can’t tell people everything. And that isn’t even because I don’t like them, but because I have to stick to some contracts every once in a while. If I don’t do that, people won’t enter new ones with me because they know I won’t keep my pie-hole shut about them. Which would suck. I guess she’s still somewhat angry at me over that. Then again, I bet you a thousand bucks she’s got secrets of her own. So why the hell is she blaming me for doing exactly the same? Besides – when you’re not answering to my mails it’s pretty safe to assume that you don’t have the time to trouble yourself with anything right now anyway. On top of that it’s not from you that I hear where you’re staying at – or when you give up your haven. I hear it from a Brujah no less! No pointing fingers at me then, I say. She’s a good rider though. So I’m trying not to upset her too much right now.

Same Brujah is… troubled these days. Turns out friar Jean has got a bone to pick with Sparkle. Where he’s trying to fight the good fight and she sometimes condescendingly claims to do the same the two of them eventually clash. Just now that is the case. Oh what a surprise, the friar doesn’t like torturing people all that much. So why on earth would you let him know that? And Sparkle, while claiming she’s all liberal, doesn’t like opinions that aren’t quit her own all that much. Total surprise, seeing as she left this domain claiming that she doesn’t have enough influence anyway. For someone who might as well be an anarch for all we know, someone who claims that personal liberty is almost all that counts – hell, is she keen on cutting away of the liberty of others. So now Williams is just a guy who doesn’t have an opinion of his own simply because said opinion doesn’t happen to reflect your own? Well, tough shit! Live up to your ideals or stop trumpeting them through the domain like a damn revelation to the rest of us. Because I’ve stopped buying it. And I’m pretty sure more and more people will come to the same conclusion.

Still. In trying to keep their peace for them I’ve made every effort to make her see sense. Not that I think that she will. She’s much too pig-headed to come to her senses. Everybody else just doesn’t get the big picture, right? The lady is just as arrogant as I am about the worth of her own intellect. The one difference being that she’s not a genius.

Meanwhile the good friar tortures himself with various thoughts on how he failed her, she failed him and basically everyone failed humanity. And while I’d much like to calm him down some more I’m currently busy trying to clean up the Brujah mess. Add Mertens to that work load and there’s not much time left.

So, as to offer myself some form of distraction, I’ve made a little test with good Raphael. It’s odd enough that he allows me to use his first name. In testing my boundaries with him I’ve now started to address him even more informally with “du”. Either that makes him snap, he slaps my wrist for it – or he does what a gentleman would do: bear it with grace.

The Tremere are staying in the background as of late. Baumgartner claims he’s got things to do, places to be. So he has Dr. Euler do most clan business during domain gatherings. Can’t say I like the guy all that much. He’s so very agreeable.

And Mertens? The man sure knows how to keep a guy busy. And he’s obsessed with structure. The order of things. Even that little place where we meet – I’m sure this isn’t his actual haven – is kept in absolute order, rectangles wherever you look. But as long as he holds up his part of the bargain I don’t really care much. The price was moderate enough. Asked for introduction in the smallest form of our blood art – which will involve him having to drink of my blood. On top of that he says he’d like for us to work together in the future. Nothing I wouldn’t have done anyway for as long as he doesn’t work against the domain or my pals. Obviously that must have come as a surprise to him, since he had to make it part of the contract. I did make it clear that I would stop cooperating the moment he raised his hand in the wrong direction. He agreed anyway. Good enough for me.

Which leaves me with two people worth mentioning. About the first one, the prince, I cannot say much today for fear of being caught doing so. 15 seconds is all it takes though.

And then there’s Jason… Asked me what I’d do if I were in his shoes. Which was utterly pointless, because whenever I answer that question he already did exactly that. He’s a very good operative and I’m very glad that he’s on my side. Working against him? Well, he’d know just the perfect way to make my life miserable. But that isn’t the same as fear. More like respect for his line of work. Sometimes I find myself envying him for being gifted enough to be an agent like that. Me? I can pull pranks, convince people that I’m of some importance even when I’m not – and I pride myself with good thinking. But Jason? He knows how to be smart and at the same time present enough muscle to keep people off his neck. God, I wish I could tell him what is on my mind right now…

“I told you all your raging would do you no good, Nathaniel.” Direkt an der Tür zu dem Raum, in dem ihre Ghule den Familienzuwachs eingesperrt hatten, stand die Frau, die vor wenigen Wochen noch ein Glas Wein mit einem Jungen getrunken hatte, der von ihrer Welt nichts ahnen konnte.
Nun war er so sehr Teil davon, dass sämtliche Einrichtung hinter dieser Tür zweifelsohne ihn zahnstochergroße Kleinteile zerlegt worden war. Was für ihn durchaus beachtlich war, denn es hatte ihn sicherlich viel Energie gekostet. Seinem Blut lag es nicht besonders viel Kraft aufzubringen. Also mussten Zeit und Mühe diese Lücke schließen.
Dort, auf seiner Seite der Tür, lehnte Nate schwer schnaufend. Den Reflex zu atmen war er los geworden. Aber er hatte schnell begriffen, dass ihn vorzutäuschen eines der wichtigsten Grundprinzipien seiner neuen Existenz war. “I need to get back to my appartment.”, knurrte er angestrengt und wütend in Richtung der Frau, die er nicht sehen konnte.
Sie schüttelte mitfühlend den Kopf. “What you really need to do is develop an understanding of patience, my dear boy. Seeing you suffer like this… That is no way to treat a child, I know. But you must understand.”
Sein Schlag mit der Faust gegen die Tür ließ beide zusammenschrecken. “I do understand! I just don’t like it!”
“You understand nothing, Nathaniel. What you think you understand are your own impulses. And you must learn to reign over them instead of having them govern your every move.”
“I-”
Sie unterbrach ihn. “You have not even considered asking for it, have you.”
Der ertappte Gesichtsausdruck gab ihr Recht. War es wirklich so einfach? War seinen Willen zu kriegen einfach zu erhalten, wenn er dafür seinen Stolz ablegte? Er seufzte. “Please… Let me go back home.”
Auch vor der Tür lächelte sie traurig. “I’m afraid not. You are one of the roses now. Whatever you do, you must never give up your pride, Nathaniel.”