Surprisingly enough both Jean and I survived the first night without any greater difficulties. Go team Senate! Well, for the most part. The one thing we can’t seem to be able to figure out is in which order to shake people’s hands without crossing our own arms. If that’s the chief problem we’re pretty lucky though.

Really, I think that stupidity should kill people. Big time. Alena, being the self-centered woman that she is thought that it was a good idea to see her sire in Saarbrücken. An idea that is so painfully stupid that I’d really like to rip her head off, just like that. And what is it she does there? Shares in their degenerated games, only to share in their blood too – possibly infecting her with some sort of blood plague that’s been going about there for a while now. A fucking plague! There’s only one good way to get rid of those, and that is fire. Jason is right in saying it’s a bad idea to get too attached. Well, no kidding! I have rarely felt so sorry or worried for someone as much as I worry for her. And I still want to kill her for being so utterly stupid. Bleh. So now I’ll have to deal with this on an official level, which I hate even more. Jesus. Thanks, Alena!

Meanwhile Coraline actually makes an effort to be useful to the clan. Right now I think she’s so busy with getting back on her feet that there’s not much of her time left to enter into personal politics. Besides, I’m pretty sure she’s still under the influence of my blood. Which I sure as hell am not regretting at all. Jason said she looked beaten when she left the conversation with Alena and me. Might be she’s just jealous. I should probably write her a line or two. Usually helps.

Should I be worried if of all people present it’s Williams and von Stein who congratulate Jean and me on a good entrance made? What the fuck. At some point somewhat must have made the Brujah the secret wardens of etiquette and style without telling the Toreador it happened. Their kind words actually alarm me. I’ll have to keep my eyes and ears open to see how we were really per- and received.

At the same time I have encountered the first person who chooses to be Caitiff. Philipps flat out said he’s renouncing his blood affiliations. And for that the prize for Dumbest Deed Ever goes to him instead of Alena. He also informed me that there’s a clan willing to take him under his wing. I’m guessing it’s the Gangrel. Which ever clan it may be, it’s not a wise thing to do. Since Thomas wasn’t present I’m pretty confident that it’s not going to be the Nosferatu. Not the Toreador either, I’d know that. The Ventrue? Hardly. So that leaves us with Malkavian and Gangrel, since the Tremere never take on orphans of any kind. If Karsten is picking him up I’ll have to talk to him. It’s no good to make a clan secret sanctuary to all sorts of Caitiff. Only pulls his own reputation down further.

On the other hand I think I have met the first at least seemingly sane Malkavian. This Mr. Bloom at least had an interesting take on society. I’ll have to keep an eye on him, if only for curiousity’s sake. Can’t hurt either. He showed up as entourage to Madame Beaucaire. No idea how to spell that name without breaking my ten typing fingers. Anyway. Yeah, I remember having seen her before. Once. And already she waltzes about, telling people that I changed. No shit! People change when you put responsibility on their shoulders. Out of a sudden they at least have to give the impression of being competent. And that surprises you why exactly?

There’s one point where I screwed up though. I shouldn’t have been so openly pleased to see Jason when he came in to shake hands with Jean and me. Guess that’s something I have to work on. On the other hand he is working hard and making a real effort, more than any of the others. So why not show some appreciation for that? Surely there’s no fault in that. He told me last night that he’s not trying to gain any form of title. And I do think he means it. He’s a very good and very strong background player. I still fail to understand how the others manage to underestimate him as much as they do. Then again, it’s probably one of those things women just can’t understand. Yeah, yeah, I know, we’re all dead now. Sex, in all the meanings of the word, shouldn’t make much of a difference anymore. And I bet that’s how people would like to see it. But if you’re asking me that’s one of the biggest bullshit lies I’ve ever heard or read. You don’t stop being a guy. You don’t stop being a lady, if you ever were one. And the fact that Jason is successful is living prove to the fact.

Boy, if I were out for reputation myself right now I could do some serious damage to Jean. Politically speaking he’s making the mistake to stand back and let me do all the talking. Sadly, that’s what a Toreador is supposed to be good at. If he keeps this up the impression that I’m holding the reins in the senate is bound to come up. Doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad thing. Just a pet theory I have. Right now things are so new that I hesitate to point this out. If I did I’d cause insecurity. Perhaps doubt. And we can need none of that right now. Confidence is of the essence. And judging from his own predicament in all of this the best he can do is stand back a little and let me do the shining. Only I’m not so sure I’ll know when to stop.

Didn’t get much of a chance to talk to Phelan. However, he appears to be quite content leaning back and doing things when people ask him to. My guess is he couldn’t care less for politics as long as everybody is kept safe. Doesn’t change the fact that I should talk to him personally some time soon. It’s a bad idea to have him feel left out.

For their part, Simon and Euler work well together. At least in that particular assignment. They came up with a pretty solid, if risky, plan. But there’s only so much you can do to minimize risks. Somebody will have to take them. The plan is pretty much as could have been expected. Simon is eager to please and do his job. And Euler is just as eager to reestablish the formerly good reputation of his clan. Which is also why he demonstrated some sort of chivarly when I resolved that matter of favours with him. Guess we established a fresh start in that. Now if only he can manage to keep his clan members shut up whenever they feel it’s their god-given right to go ballistic over some minor slight they think they got when I wasn’t even trying to cause serious harm. If I should actually try and do that some time I will be polite enough to give them due warning. Otherwise they most likely wouldn’t notice.

The prince, of course, won’t be too pleased about said plan. It does risk the life of the ghoul to some extend. Not that I think that it could be avoided. But she tries so hard to remain honorable and true that she might veto the plan. I hope I can talk her into acceptance. After all this is the life of one ghoul measured against the good fortune of the entire domain. In so many words, I’d risk that life any given day. Sadly this isn’t my call but hers. Then again, she is reasonable enough. There’s not much else you could do to get a hold of those fucking hunters. Imagine that, ghouls hunting for our blood. Making us prey! This has to stop. Send in the Marines.

Should have mentioned Rottenmeier earlier. She gives me a bit of a headache. Very crazy. Very obviously so. And still I get a strange sort of vibe from her. She might be the freshest neonate those guys have. But I doubt that she is actually young. Not a fledgeling, that much is for sure. I bet you a thousand bucks she’s pretty damn dangerous. So I have to find out what she’s actually planning to do and how much of a threat she poses. Of course she gives the proper bows and smiles. But that doesn’t say much at all.

On the plus side this will be the final week of training with Doc Mertens. Not that I don’t enjoy his methods of teaching me. Yet I need to make progress. Just like Jason I have to pick up pace and learn more in much less time. It’ll be a bit harder after Mertens and I are through to get a hold of him, stay in touch and – more importantly – hear his opinions once this is over. And I’m curious to see how long it’ll take him to ask about sessions to be taught our special art. And having a real good drink of my blood. … Yeah, Jason, I know. Cocktail bar.

As mentioned before Thomas wasn’t there. Wartenburg, however, was. Hell, that woman annoys me. Just for the sake of being as close as she is with Thomas. If he doesn’t watch out she could be his downfall. And I’m very positive that she’d make him take the fall on her behalf instead of doing what’s good for him for a change. She means trouble. And she is trouble for him. Only problem being: It’s not quite the right time to tell him yet. It’s too early. If I were to bring that before him right now he’d nod his agreement and continue meeting her in secret. And then what have we won.

… Did I mention that I can’t see why Alena even went to Saarbrücken? Worse yet. Prince Moldoviano seems to be of the odd opinion that Brückner agreed to marry him. Now, not only do we have arrogant pricks on our heels who think they’re better than any of us while at the same time proving, beyond a doubt, that they’ve degenerated beyond repair. No. On top of that there’s a prince who’s very much likely to feel hurt over being turned down, no matter how well our leading lady might phrase the rebuke. Then again, their form of retaliation is probably just another of their cheap games, involves heavy drinking and most certainly absinth. It’s a boys club that missed the moment when they had to grow up. Coming from me that’s a pretty severe insult, guys. Fortunately you will never read this. Ha!

Lara… What I’ve noticed about her is that she almost all the time smiles when I talk to her. I wonder whether that is to keep me in a favourable mood or just because she thinks all of this to be just that funny. I doubt it’s the latter. And I also doubt she’s got good cause for the first. So why the fuck does she keep smiling like that? Every now and then I even get the impression that she’s concerned about everybody’s wellbeing. But she is a childe, for crying out loud! And a Gangrel, no less.

Boy, considering that Shiraz used to be all alone on domain gatherings, with no Ventrue to be seen around except for the prince, things have certainly changed. Last night we had Freienfels present, who still is a prick and way too lucky for his own good for having survived as long as he did. Then there was Dewinter. What the fuck. He talks about business travels like it’s nothing. Five minutes later I’m informed that Wartenburg will go on a trip with him, leeching his influence as well as learning another blood gift from him. He’s likeable enough. But you never quite know whether he hates your guts or not. Sort of makes you happy that he’s a rare guest.

Miss Havixbeck was pleasant as ever. Only I didn’t get much time to see her. And she had to leave early. Her sister, Miss Pearse, didn’t, however. Which gave me the opportunity to accompany her home in the end. Right now she’s a guest of the prince. Probably wasn’t even her being polite to accept my company. Should talk to both of them some more. Being social. Mingling. That kind of thing.

Naturally Freienfels once more couldn’t resist and just had to show everyone what kind of a big bad motherfucker he is. He pulled rank and took Gregory with him. And why? Because that Malakov guy is still alive. Boohoo. Seriously. You need Brujah neonates to live out your phantasies of being truly powerful? Your petty games aren’t helping much, that’s for sure. Fine, so I have to be polite, pretend that I care, bow a little when you enter. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t know that you’re one of the most imcompetent cainites I have met thus far. Come the time I will let people know. And I’m very much looking forward to watch you squirm. Until then, expect my most friendly smile reserved just for you.

And then there’s Raphael, who should come by here tomorrow night. A shame, since it does mean that I won’t be present when the others go out. But I promised him a night that he wouldn’t forget. Of course, I will keep word. He also informed me that his clan, unofficially of course, made him speaker. I also told him that I could never publicly recognize that – and yet agreed that it makes sense, which it does. He asked whether it’d be fine if he and his clan punished people for minor breaches of etiquette in as far as that they won’t do business with those people. And who am I to tell him whom to deal with and whom not to? The next thing he said was a bit strange though… An elder of his clan had authorized him to do some mindbending to those people who just wouldn’t learn. The thing is… This isn’t elysium. And as long as it isn’t he’s pretty much free to do so. Of course I’ll have to pretend that I’m shocked, should he actually ever do this (not that I think he will). Still. It’s a very interesting line of thought.

Draußen war die Sonne schon vor Stunden untergegangen. Hier in den Räumen des alten Museums war es kühl. Genau richtig.
Während Edward nervös auf und ab ging lehnte Nathaniel in aller Ruhe an einer der Wände und beobachtete ihn mit halbherzigen Interesse. Edward selbst wiederum wirkte äußerst aufgebracht. Ein Blick in seine Gefühlswelt machte dies nur noch offensichtlicher. Er war wütend, war enttäuscht. Noch mehr aber spürte er einen Verlust, dessen Schmerz ihn aufzufressen drohte. Alles was ihn im Moment im Zaum hielt war die Tatsache, dass man in dem Raum vor dessen Tür die beiden sich aufhielten nuneinmal Recht gesprochen hatte. Daran gab es nichts zu ändern.
“Why didn’t you tell them, Nate?!”
Nathaniel schloss das Auge um es auch schon augenblicklich zu verdrehen. Diese Frage hätte wirklich jeder kommen sehen. “Because she broke our law, Ed.”
“It’s Edward to you. Not everyone around here shares your tendancy to mutilate their own name.” Endlich hatten Zorn, Wut und Enttäuschung ein würdiges Ziel gefunden. In jedem Fall zumindest ein Ziel. Ein Ziel, das vorahnden war. Angreifbar. “And yes, so she did. But you know as well as I do that, had you spoken up, they wouldn’t have -” Edwards Stimme versagte ihm den Dienst.
Weiter hallten die Schritte im Gang wieder. Nathaniel sah nicht auf. Wofür auch. Er konnte die Wut des anderen sogar verstehen. Es war ein offenes Geheimnis, dass Edward und Linda – jedenfalls nannte sie sich hier so – eine Art… Beziehung geführt hatten. Eine Perversion davon, natürlich. Aber etwas, das für sie beide wohl ausreichend real gewesen war. “She sired another. Without leave or consent.”
“There wasn’t any time!”
“Doesn’t make it less stupid.”
Edward blieb stehen. “I thought I had a friend in you.”
Schnaubend stieß sich Nathaniel von der Wand ab. “As it turns out…” Ohne ihn eines Blickes zu würdigen ging er an Edward vorbei. “I don’t befriend idiots.”