Things are somewhat less than good right now. The State of the Nation? While one senator is making his way back into the public and thereby following kind advice given to him by yours truly – the other one is starting to mess up after only two public appearances.

Clan Brujah calmed down, mostly. Lützow was there and told me it was good that I finally acquired a real name. A shame, because I thought he’d be smarter than that. Everybody has a real name. I just wasn’t too eager on sharing mine. Besides – I’m an artist, in my own way. Therefore we get to pick pseudonyms. What worries me about the whole matter is that, currently, the Brujah consist of barely anything but brutes. A shame, really.

Alena approached me early that night. She was mad as hell about Karsten spilling the beans on her talents. Rightfully so. Of course most of the plebs thinks she’s making a fuss over nothing. Which is also why they suck at politics. And Karsten? He listens to that part of society and continues to be surprised why he’s not in charge here right now. If that’s his stance on the world then I’m pretty sure he won’t get back into power any time soon. Suits me.

And of course there was more trouble about Alena and Thomas. This could be a problem though. Their arguement could be heard perfectly clear in the domain room. She doesn’t think too highly of him as a senator. I’m not even sure I can blame her for that. Worse yet, Raphael also approached me about Thomas’ behaviour… Given the fact that it’s been merely two public appearances that’s not a very good cut. And to worsen the situation I’m rather sure Thomas won’t take kindly to me pointing any of this out to him. He’s probably in denial as it is. Hell, he hated my guts for pointing out friar Jean’s unfortunate absence, justifying it and what have you. Justify my ass! All the nicest justifications won’t help at all once the wrong impression hits the crowd.

Paul still continues his masquerade. Fine. Whatever floats your boat, man. However, he neglected showing proper respect, neither bowing nor kneeling before the senate. I told him I’d expect some sign of respect next time he stepped before us. If he doesn’t I will have to make an example of him, as much as I may dislike it. All of us have to go through the motions.

The good friar, for his part, seems as empty as ever. Last time I talked to him he was… beaten. Probably for what I told him. Better yet, for what I didn’t tell him. Guess he might feel betrayed for a lack of trust. Then again, there’s some things you can only settle with yourself. I don’t need him to carry my weight. Perfectly able to do that myself. And I know the kind of deal I bargained for. No way in hell I’m going to complain and certainly not that early down the road.

Someone with good reason to complain soon is Jason, however. I told him that there’ll be a need for internal structure in this clan. And I told him I wanted him to fill that gap. It’s an ambiguous matter to him, I suppose. We both have the type of ego that would feel flattered by such an offer. But the obligation, the responsibilities will weigh him down. And he doesn’t like that much. Yet my clan keeps telling me that they will support my new position. Since this is what we need then, I hope they will comply.

Need to grow up faster. It’s tough to find the right pace without alienating everybody else.

In den Jahren die sie sich jetzt kannten hatte Nathaniel die Frau, die andere als seine bessere Hälfte bezeichnet hätten, selten so wütend erlebt. “You didn’t have to do that, Nate.” Aber wenn man ehrlich mit sich selbst war, dann stand ihr diese Wut eigentlich sehr gut.
“Yes, I did! He wasn’t any good for you.” Der Widerspruch klang auch in seinen Ohren eher halbherzig.
“And who are you that you get to judge over what’s good for me and what isn’t?!”
Schweigen.
“Thought as much.”
“You’re asking the wrong questions.”
Wer willst du sein?