Will you marry me? That was about the most common question last night. Dear Thomas once more took it upon himself to jeopardize his position as senator by presenting himself as the perfectly insane representative. Sometimes I want to drive a stake through his heart, just like that. Alas, I can’t. Not yet. Though I’m really considering it by now.

Also I still have no idea just how you’re supposed to tell someone that you’re about to kill them and that there’s a chance they won’t survive that. Truth be told I think my blood is just fine and so Dee should be just as fine. However… I could be wrong. I usually am not wrong – but I could be. And in this case I’m risking her life with what I’m about to do. Unlike other people I at least ask her what she means with her wishes instead of just guessing them and accidentally ending up with a murder on my not-quite-so-clean slate.

Poor Miss Rottenmeier. She finally gets her clan back – and the two people that actually do show up botch their introduction. Both of them have a degree, no less. I feel bad for the lady. Then again, I’m pretty sure she can handle the two of them just fine.

Two down, one to go. Up to now nobody seems to have noticed. At least neither of the two. Makes me sad.

Then there were those who I shall only refer to as Believers. And I mean that in the best way possible. I have never seen something shine so bright. Which is odd, because I thought that Jacques is a close to real faith as it gets. Those guys, however… Wow. Like a ret hot poker shoved right through your eyes. Blindingly bright. Very impressive. They could have done serious damage last night. Yet they decided not to. Really makes you wonder…

Who would have thought we’d ever see Amalia and Harkon again. Granted, we didn’t see Harkon. But his precious kid finally made it back. Not that she’s being gracious about it. Instead she refuses to shake hands with Harkon. I’ll be very interested to see what Jacques conjures up as a punishment. Do I hope for creativity or what?

At the same time Jacques is making quite a noise about what Shepherd did to Olivia Reed. The way I see it she’s been stupid enough to let herself get caught off-guard. Which makes her a liability for Jacques. But of course he’s being all forgiving and I want to throw up because of it. So basically – in his mind – Shepherd is an ass for entrancing Olivia while at the same time the fucking whole of clan Brujah gets away with insulting an entire bloodline of Ventrue, elders included. Somehow I fail to get that.

For her part Mascha is trying her best to keep the boys in a condition that allows them to function just right. Sadly there’s only so much a girl can do against two pig-headed guys. Her own brother won’t really listen to her advice. Otherwise he would have stayed home last night. And Jason? Jason… Jason is still trying to clean up his act. So she finds herself in the weirdest kind of crossfire. One has to hand it to her though, she’s holding up pretty good.

That vision Thomas had… I think I know what it means. If so, I’m the happiest me around. Go team!

Von Lützow made another appearance last night. For some odd reason he thinks he’s above taking orders from the senate. For which he should bleed bad. Of course Jacques once more basically declared the guy his business, seeing as they’re related through clan. Again. God, that is so very annoying I can’t find proper words for it. Whatever it is that comes up and that does smell of Brujah, Jacques will be all over it. And Lützow? Yeah. “I wanna talk to you in private, Jean!” Fuck you? “But it’s real personal!” Oh. Well then, ok! … Why, fuck you very much, the both of you. What good is that gonna do? Besides, if you’re going to be private about something you might consider actually lowering your voices. I was blinded by the light, not deafened by the song.

Jason… Gut feeling again. Somehow he still seems to me like he’s stumbling. I said I would watch this for a couple of weeks, so I do. But he worries me greatly. Being the genius that I am I should know what to do with him, just so he is back on track. But I don’t. Not only does that make me a bad genius, but also a terrible brother. I should think of something real fast. Damn that.

And Jacques? Cryptic as ever and sometimes just this close to actually growing a spine! I’d be impressed, if I ever see it last. Up to now I haven’t, so I’m not getting my hopes up just yet. And speaking of Hope… Just why did it have to be a fucking ring with that kind of history? So you didn’t mean to make her family? Yeah, nice work, old man. It’s still what you did if you give a fucking family heirloom to someone who isn’t part of the family. Never mind the veiled threat or sense of forboding. Doesn’t matter for the present. On the other hand feeling the level of attraction I went through last night was very nice. Yeah, I know, I shouldn’t let him do that to me. I’m Toreador and all that shit. However, when you’re in that state it sure as hell feels real enough. So why not enjoy it while it lasts?

He said the purpose of it was humility. Somehow that lesson went straight past me without leaving any impression at all. Right now my guess is that after a few weeks he’ll tell me that he tricked me into accepting what he did, just because I thought I knew something or could trust him and then stick his tongue out at me. Whatever. He said I should be patient and wait for what he has to show me. So right now I’m trying to be patient as can be – at which I suck perfectly.

Anyway. If I’m right about what I think of Thomas’ vision I might have plan C cooking up in that brain of mine as I type. Plus plan A, which I neglected for the time being in favor of plan B. One could almost confuse them all.

Don’t feel any more humble than a week ago though. Bleh. Old people can be very hard to be around. I mean… What is it with them complaining that you’re too arrogant to ask questions; and then when you do, you’re an idiot for doing it and won’t get an answer at all. Not helping, guys.

Seit über einer Stunde standen die beiden Toten einander gegenüber. Victoria lächelte ihr Kind an, hielt sein Kinn zwischen Daumen und Zeigefinger und blickte ihm mit einem aufreizenden Lächeln in das verbliebene Auge.
“Fight it, Nathaniel.”, seuselte sie ihm verheißungsvoll entgegen.
Dagegen ankämpfen. Genau gegen das ankämpfen, was sie ihm eigentlich gerade suggerierte. Die Art, wie sie ihren Körper – tot oder nicht – an ihn presste, wie sie atmete obwohl sie es nicht wusste, wie sie ihn aus diesen halbgeschlossenen Augen mit diesem Schlafzimmerblick ansah. Dagegen sollte er wirklich kämpfen?
“I can’t…”, antwortete er schließlich wahrheitsgemäß und mit einem leicht leidenden Unterton in der Stimme.
Ihr Daumen strich ihm mit leichtem Druck unter der Unterlippe entlang. “Yes, you can. You merely don’t want to. Fight it, Nathaniel.”
“I am fighting!”, protestierte er mit jedem Quäntchen an Trotz, das er aufbringen konnte. Zugegeben war das im Augenblick nicht sonderlich viel.
“Are you?” Der Blick wurde forschend, wenn auch nur gespielt. Sie lehnte ihm den Kopf leicht entgegen…
… Und noch ehe es sich beide versehen hatten, küsste er sie. Keine gute Idee, wie sich herausstellte, denn einen Augenblick später hatte sie ihn mit einer unmenschlich schnellen Bewegung von sich gestoßen und somit auf den Boden geworfen. Irritiert sah er zu ihr auf. Für einen Moment spürte er, wie der Drang dieser Frau gefallen zu wollen in ihm nachließ, nur um einige Augenblicke später erneut einzusetzen.
Victoria lächelte kühl. “Let’s try this again, shall we.”
Nur mit Mühe gelang es dem jetzt jungen Toreador langsam auf die Beine zu kommen ohne sofort zu ihr zu stürmen.
“Don’t you want me, Nathaniel?”
“No, I don’t.” Den restlichen Weg musste er nicht zu ihr zurücklegen. Sie überbrückte die Distanz erneut viel zu schnell, als dass er es hätte sehen können. Erneut fand er sich keuchend auf dem Boden wieder.
“Don’t lie to me.”
Er kostete erneut kurz Freiheit. Dann wieder die Leine, unsichtbar und wesentlich stärker. “Once more, with feeling, Nathaniel.”