Friday night and I have my tongue. The first hour was spent trying to sate a hunger that will always be there, one I have rarely felt this strongly. And though the first sips were rejuvenating I am now left a changed man. Jason should be here any minute. I look forward to seeing him, even though I feel like not seeing anyone.

The countess graced us with her presence. So did her husband. Both of them know of her return. I cannot flatter myself that they came here to help me. Their timing was incredibly bad. My mind strained, my patience worn thing, my hunger grown to an extend I hardly knew of. And yet they were trying to help, in their own way. I know I disappointed them again, being too slow in understanding the lesson. Too slow in practice. Never before have I been so slow in anything. Never before have I let myself down as much as I did now. Still I think I detect a certain degree of kindness. One not given for the virtue of being virtuous, but rather for the investment. Cold, perhaps – but honest as well.

Just as I had promised to her Rottenmeier had her opportunity to ask those famous three questions. She has an excellent pick in such things. Good girl. Now to see what comes of it…

Much to my regret I had no chance of revealing to Hope what I wanted to show her. But she’ll know soon enough. There’s always another night. She’ll learn.

The prince wasn’t present yet. But it is only a matter of nights now. The others will learn that she is still not to be taken lightly. Loyalties will be reconsidered. I wonder who will call for prince Jacques now? And I wonder who they will call for instead, once the time comes. The time always comes – that is the lesson to be taken from this whole affair.

The time should have come for von Stein and Lützow as well. And though he claims otherwise Jacques still hesitates. I know that I’m a very impatient man. But there is such a thing as too much patience. By now it has become dangerous. And I am no longer sure I can help him. I am no longer sure how much time I have left until I have to fulfill that particular promise. Not knowing that scares me.

Pearse received her punishment just as Jason did. She took it with dignity and accepted it more easily than he did. Either way, I hope I won’t have to do this again any time soon.

The good news is that Thomas held up remarkably well last night. Comforting to see that he’s trying. Still a long way to go, but for now he appears to be out of the woods. Let’s hope he doesn’t have good reason to go hiding there again. Though I should talk to him about offering his wrist to me… For his sake I do hope he was joking.

The Brunis were none too thrilled about Jason last night. He seemed somewhat distracted. I wonder what had him so captivated. And then Bruni entranced him… Must have been a sight to behold. Sadly I had no time to get into the matter much. Fortunately I’ll find out whether or not he’s fine in a couple of minutes.

And Jacques… Just why did you have to do this? I refuse to believe you would sink so lowly as to perform such miserable tests on someone who is sure to feel fooled if you do. If you did you know nothing of me at all. And if you had other reasons, then… Then you decidedly cut deep. I tried so hard to do this your way. I listened, I obeyed, I stayed away from temptation as best I could. I took everything you said seriously. Now I feel I cannot look at you again. Knowing you I won’t have to… Right now I couldn’t bring myself to come over, even if I wanted to. What I wish for the most is that there was any fight left within you. That, after all, I would be worth fighting for. Maybe that is the true lesson I should have learned in this week. That no man, not even me, is worth fighting for in matters of the heart. Neither blood nor loyalty binds me to feel heartbroken. Yet I do. Will you even bother to find out? Between all the harsh words of last night, have you not heard what I was trying to say? There is still hope that you might have… So this is what remains: One week of hope.