“Be yourself; everyone else is already tagen.” – Oscar Wilde

When I woke up this morning, my hands were bleeding from their palms. When I tried to focus, I saw a brief shimmer of a blade, felt it cut again, only to disappear. From what I felt, the cut was deep enough to draw blood. And I would swear time and again that I saw it – but none of the others did, so it must have been in my mind.

But I recall being angry. Keenly so, certainly as sharp as any well-crafted blade. And the gods know I desperately wanted to cut something. Someone. Anything. If only it meant something to someone. Shy away from anything that has no meaning.

I cannot put my finger on just what made me so angry.

At first I thought it was Astrid and her indecisiveness. Her open display of greed. The strange god she refuses to name. Her unwillingness to follow any lead but her own. One time, reason is within her reach. The other, reason is the only thing she will never listen to. More often than not, it leaves her wondering about the what ifs and what if nots, perpetually stalled by her own thoughts or her argument with others. Sometimes I dare wager that she means well. And whenever I think I have her figured out, she does something so baffling that I would want for nothing more but turn on my heels and leave. But if I did, she would be lost. Bandobras would certainly try to keep her safe. But she needs someone to keep the shadows at bay.

Then I thought that it might be Adalram. He reminds me of my brother in every word he says. Suffice to say I have few fond memories of him, which naturally makes me wary of Adalram Melshimber. He probably is a good man. And I have the utmost respect for his education and expert knowledge. But if he has the semblance down to a t, I will be gravely disappointed with the man I expect him to be.

Maybe it is the memories he stirs up…

In my life I have only felt this angry once before. I, after all, am my brother Cedric’s senior. And yet, father has decided that all honors, all titles shall fall to him. And for what?! That I set different priorities? If this journey has proven anything to me, then that is that sometimes, people need to take up arms. Even the ones who pay others to do it for them. Because if you don’t, you become easy pickings for the rest of the lot. And I have no intention of letting that happen to either me or mine.

One day I shall find the evidence I need to convince either my father or the council that Cedric wronged me and by no means deserves the high seat at the table.

I have a feeling that whatever is helping me cut ever so sharply will be direly needed for my accomplishment.

Why this happened is beyond me. Perhaps it was the strange creature in the cave. Perhaps it was fate. Or something rooted deep within that merely waited to break out. It matters little. What does matter is how to make the best use of it.