“You live only once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” – Mae West

Today I got lucky.

I got lucky because I woke up to see another morning. Lucky because I didn’t fail as hard as I thought I would. I got even more lucky because I was blessed by someone in touch with the divine. I was lucky because I got to stay.

Then I was stupid. I accepted something I should have denied much longer. For now what feels precious to must feel cheap to the other. And that cannot be undone. Nor would I honestly wish to, because, for all its selfishness – who would give up something they craved. I am not one such saint, nor do I strive to be.

What I do wish is to be heard. And I want it to be known that this was not a matter of mood or chance or just something that came up and happened. You are the embodiment of my luck as much as you are my choice and wish. All words I have to describe this are lacking.

At the bottom line, only you remain.

I ask your forgiveness as much as your sincerity, if you have it. I would rather be a fleeting moment of something good to someone, who must perceive me as a blink of their eye – rather that then not be seen in what I honestly feel, no matter how unwanted or foolish.

I know my heart. Please forgive the ailing actions of its master.