Fatebook

So it’s done now. The senate is no more. And as I said to Simon what seems a lifetime ago: My name will forever be connected to that little experiment. Doesn’t matter if it’s for good or for bad. There is no real good in this world anyway.

This is it. I can’t possibly go any further than this. This is as far as my humble feet will carry me. From now on, I can only break. And I will. I have.

He allways said that I would get used to it. That I would learn to control it better. That the mind would clear up, little by little. The truth of the matter is that the longer this lasts, the more I get lost in emotions I usually strive to control by every means possible. And […]

Blackmail. Probably the best headline for that whole thing on Thursday.

All I really want to do these nights is have a stag’s night out with Jason, enjoy the drinks and maybe share some of the heartache. Sadly that would imply some weakness and right now I don’t think Jason needs more of that. Bloody hell.

The evening was remarkably quiet, comparing it to what I had expected. But around here people rarely act like the beasts they should be. They are soft, sometimes even by human standards. And then the next moment they lash out without measure. It’s hard to predict the chaos in their mind.

And still all of this gets to me more than it should. My mind is starting to clear up. But I know that the one thing I need to go away won’t just disappear – and I know that in my heart I do not want that to happen either.