He allways said that I would get used to it. That I would learn to control it better. That the mind would clear up, little by little. The truth of the matter is that the longer this lasts, the more I get lost in emotions I usually strive to control by every means possible. And […]

Blackmail. Probably the best headline for that whole thing on Thursday.

All I really want to do these nights is have a stag’s night out with Jason, enjoy the drinks and maybe share some of the heartache. Sadly that would imply some weakness and right now I don’t think Jason needs more of that. Bloody hell.

The evening was remarkably quiet, comparing it to what I had expected. But around here people rarely act like the beasts they should be. They are soft, sometimes even by human standards. And then the next moment they lash out without measure. It’s hard to predict the chaos in their mind.

And still all of this gets to me more than it should. My mind is starting to clear up. But I know that the one thing I need to go away won’t just disappear – and I know that in my heart I do not want that to happen either.

To write sober letters is one thing. It is quite another to actually act more responsible, for lack of a better term. To feel it appears next to impossible. I find it hard to keep my own tongue in check. Harder still not to say what I really think. I wonder how long I can […]

The hardest part, as he had found out, was not about not touching him. Nor was it sober thinking and talking. The latter had come more easily than expected.

Monday night. All Sunday had gone by without a decision. And all Monday went by without thinking about said decision. At least that was the plan.

Thursday night she had snapped. Again. Friday Jason had been over and he still couldn’t get himself to even let Greg clean up the mess. By now, Sunday, the mess was still there, the perfect reflection of his own emotional chaos.

Lovely. You’ve got to appreciate politics for what they are. Give them a distraction and people will be all over it. Out of a sudden people are very interested in what happens to Hope. Or where the Sabbat might attack another two cities. Which comes in handy, because they’re much less likely to pay much […]