Somehow I thought I would get staked or something. None of the like happened. Yet there are so many implications to this that my head is spinning. And I’m not sure just who the old man hurt more.

I can’t protect him. And with any bad luck, I can’t protect the other one either. That is the main lesson from last night.

Much reason to feel elated. Just as much to feel depressed. My head is an insane mixture of both. And I don’t know just how far my sanity is going to last me. Doesn’t keep me from clinging to it as best I can. People sure are making that hard on me though.

First there was this unshakeable feeling of being worn out. Tiredness. No matter how much rest you get, you still feel beaten. Now there’s the hunger. And no matter just how many girls I have, I still feel that nagging sensation in the pit of my stomach, quite unable to sate the hunger.

So this is it. I said what I had to say. And, as always, neither of them is listening. They say I’m missjudging the situation. AGain. That I mean well, but that what I suggest isn’t the right way.

I have never been so worried and scared any time before in my life. There is nothing worse than seeing someone enter a rather foolish fight, just for the sake of saving face and honor. And for what. Pride! It all boils down to pride.

A short night. Yet by no means any less odd than the past two weeks.

No matter what I do, I can’t get my brain and my heart to be on the same level right now. More and more often I find myself in some sort of dead-lock. And more easily distracted. Plus, acting all the time is very, very hard…